The First "Talk"

Amelia has been a bit whiney lately and breaking into tears at the slightest thing, like dropping a toy. Since she's normally a very happy child, I thought perhaps it was a stage, or at various points I thought it was hunger or being tired. When she broke down in tears 30 minutes after waking up Saturday morning, I decided to act on a thought that had been mulling around in my head for a couple of days.

I went into her room and said, "Amelia, does Eliza just start crying at preschool for no reason?" (I saw this happen a few weeks ago when I volunteered.) Answer: sniff, sniff, nods head. I respond, "Do you know why she does that?" Amelia, "Yeah." Me, "Why?" I give her a few moments to see if she comes up with anything, sometimes when words or concepts are new she takes a few minutes. After watching her mouth move without sound I asked her again and gave her a few more minutes. Finally I told her, "Eliza cries like that because she really misses her daddy." Then I turned it into a bit of a teaching moment because Amelia has a really hard time with holding my hand in a parking lot. Although it was a bit of a stretch, I took the opportunity. I said to her, "You know how I want you to always hold my hand in a parking lot?" Very clearly she said, "Yes." (Maybe she was relieved to know the answer.) Me, "It's because I am afraid you're going to get hurt, right?" Her, "Yes." Me, "Well, that's what happened to Eliza's daddy. He got hurt really bad in his truck and he is never going to come home again because he died. Eliza cries because she misses him. But your daddy is in the other room, you get to see him anytime you want so you shouldn't be sad."

Haven't had a problem with the crying since then. I think she was mimicking a behavior she had seen without understanding the cause of it. She saw the attention and comfort that Eliza got when she cried, but now that I've explained it to her, Amelia hasn't done it again and it's been a few days, so I think it may have worked.