Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

This blog captures my thoughts and observations of Amelia since there are so many wonderful things I want to just bottle and enjoy. Time doesn't stop and while I will have memories, it will be nice for both her and me to have these in-the-moment snapshots of her life.

Monday, May 18, 2009


Motherhood is hard. It's the worrying and the lack of control that make it so hard. Amelia is at her Nana's right now and I am still worried about whether she has kicked her diarrhea problem. (I'm at work and shouldn't be blogging but I'm tired of worrying and thought this might help.) Amelia hasn't had a movement since yesterday morning and now I am worried she is stopped up ... ugh.

Things would be so much easier if:

She could just eat anything she wants (which she does most of the time ... just not now).
I could know for sure that the illnesses and bumps she'll endure will all be minor and not an indication of some horrible disease or condition.
She would come when I call her.
She would always hold my hand in the parking lot.
She would stop hitting me (even after asking me if I'm "hittable" and I say no.)

Which goes to the other hard part of motherhood - training. It would be nice for Amelia to be a meek, compliant child but I don't want to break her spirit. She is so happy and energetic. But she loves to explore and I have to learn
(a) how to effectively teach her when that isn't appropriate (being out of sight in a store) and
(b) how to let go (when she is exploring bugs and leaf piles, etc.). I am afraid of her getting bug bites that turn into infections, poison ivy and who knows what else.

Basically I feel so responsible for everything that happens to her, and it's just too much sometimes. I want to enjoy her childhood as much as she is.


Blogger Clementine said...

I hear you on this. Motherhood IS hard! I worry about so many things with Hester. Just when I've finally stopped worrying about a particular topic, I think about the old maxim "Little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems" and get scared all over again. I try to take it day by day and not get too caught up in the worry, but sometimes that's really hard.

I hope Amelia will be feeling better soon!

1:10 PM  

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